Reality is All About Beliefs

Beliefs rule our lives, our perceptions, our relationships and all of our actions and interactions. If we truly understood how beliefs create reality, we would be more interested in finding out exactly how and finding which to alter and which to keep.

The Lake of Responsibility

In the beginning there is a lake, the Lake of Responsibility. Each of us are born with a cup in our hand meant for us to each dip our share from the lake. As we grow and life expands for us, there comes a time for each of us to dip in with our cup and take our share. For many, when they realize what the cup is for, they toss it away, dust off their hands and walk away, seemingly free of any responsibility. Others see this happening and become alarmed and think, NO! Someone must be responsible! Then they, too, toss their cup away and replace it with a bucket.

As the years go by, the hill of cups becomes a mountain. The world is out of balance and there are no rules and people are either running around empty-handed and lost or sloshing along with their buckets. Most of the bucket-holders have by now taken up two buckets when they found that one wasn't enough. So rocking along with the weight of all that responsibility heavy in their hands, they too are lost and filled with despair.

There is only one solution to correct this situation. Those who find their hands empty must go find their cup and finally dip their share and drink from the lake. The peace and stability that comes with accepting ones share of responsibility in life cannot be described, it must be experienced. Those rocking along, sloshing with their overfull buckets must set them down and walk away from the buckets. They must each go back and find their cup and only dip in for their share and stop trying to take care of all of the responsibility. The peace and relief of setting down the weight of the world and taking up just ones share cannot be described, it must be experienced.

In this way, one by one, each person takes up the cup of responsibility they were born to handle and balance, joy and peace can be restored to the world.

Do you know where your cup is?

Haters Gonna Hate, Appreciators Appreciate

It takes more muscles in the face to frown then it does to smile. We've all heard that one before. But did you know what it takes a whole lot more energy to hate then in does to appreciate? To hate, you have to really focus in and find stuff to hate and you have to be on the hunt for it at all times. To appreciate, all you have to do is sit back and find little things to admire about life, about the area around us, the people we run across and the things we notice. Both are self-perpetuating energetic activities but only one of them leads to better health and more connections. 

I told my gym partner today that I would hate someone or something if I had the energy to perpetuate that activity but I just don't. So why bother. It's more fun to appreciate. It's impossible to frown and smile at the same time and the same is true for hate and appreciation. If you have to pick one, pick the one that makes you feel better.

2 - 4 - 6 - 8 - What do you appreciate?

Cody and the Peacocks

A few years ago I had a cat, a really different sort of cat. More of a cat-dog, because he was totally fearless and very friendly at the same time. He would go for rides in the car with me, sit on my lap and look out the window, enjoying the ride. Strange and wonderful cat! His name was Cody.

I often took him to a friend's house in the country. I called this place God's Green Acre because it was in the middle of the sage brush desert in Oregon and yet they had planted and watered until it was a true oasis. They had all sorts of animals: goats, sheep, pigeons, horses, llamas, peacocks. Cody loved to go visit there, he would sniff noses with the baby goats and then reach his paw up under the fence and pat their faces. And they let him!

My friend and I were picking gooseberries one afternoon and Cody was nearby playing. Pretty soon we saw the peacocks moving in, slowly, checking him out. He hid under bushes, pretending to hide and then when the peacocks got close enough, he would jump out and they would leap straight up in the air about a foot and run away, pretending to be scared. Then the whole thing would start again. This went on for over an hour and all the peacocks on the place got into the game, Cody pretending to hide, they pretending to be afraid. I've never seen anything quite like it before or since.

I've often wondered how Cody could pull that off in a potentially dangerous world. He was a fine example of fearlessness and detachment while remaining open to experience.

Turning the Tide on Happiness

On a sunny morning in May of 1992, my life suddenly changed.

And when I say suddenly, I mean in an instant, with no warning. One minute I was sitting in my favorite chair drinking coffee all by myself, thinking my usual thoughts, and the next minute I exploded. I began jumping around the room, yelling, giving myself the biggest butt-kicking of my life. The episode only lasted for about 10 minutes but it altered the course of my life. If anyone had seen me, they would have thought I was nuts!

What caused the eruption? Thoughts. Just like molten lava deep inside a serene mountain, toxic negative thoughts had been boiling around in my mind for years. Those thoughts took a turn for the worse when, a few months earlier, I started thinking about leaving my family and fleeing my life.

You see, every morning I would get my son, aged 9, off to school and then sit in that chair and imagine going into my bedroom, packing up all my clothes, loading up my mini van and driving off down the street. In my mind I would sometimes leave a note or call someone to pick my son up from school. Sometimes I would imagine where I would go first, like to the bank. The only way I ever got myself out of the chair was to decide not to do it today, maybe tomorrow. And then the whole round would begin again the next day. I was stuck in a depression dew loop with no way out.

On that fateful morning in May, I suddenly realized that I wasn't going to do it. And I was furious! The yelling went something like this:

"You IDIOT! You're not going ANYWHERE because if you WERE, you would have GONE already! I've HAD it with you! STOP this foolishness, GET OVER IT!"

And on like that .... while waving my arms, shaking my fists and I think there was some stomping involved. Pretty sure there was. The best part came next. I ran into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked deranged, crazed, wild-eyed. I was horrified, to say the least. But I looked that crazy woman right in the eye, shook my finger in her face and told her to shape up. Told her I had had it with her and her whining and moaning. Told her she was going to get happy RIGHT NOW or I was going to know the reason why not.

The idea that I could actually be happy sent a jolt of panic through me, I could see it in my eyes. So I arranged a smile on my face and even though it gave me an even spookier look when combined with those wild eyes, I said out loud, "I'm a happy girl." I didn't die so I said it again. And then again. I repeated it over and over until it became a little song. "I'm a happy girl. A happy, happy girl. I'm a happy, happy, happy, happy girl!" Catchy tune, you should have heard it. Satisfied with my efforts, I jumped into the shower singing my little song and went on to the rest of my day.

In the days and weeks that followed, I would sing my happy girl song in my van or in the shower but only when I was alone. I didn't tell anyone about my episode because I really had no idea what I had done.

About three weeks later, I noticed that I felt pretty good. It was a shock of sorts, after feeling so bad for so long. It stopped me in my tracks while I did a mental body scan and decided that, yes, I felt pretty darn good! I wondered if my happy girl song was really working. Could it be true? Could a silly thing like that really help?

Emphatically, YES!

Habitual Happiness, Part 2

The world is running faster and faster, the pace has to keep up with our constant need to be stimulated. Movies, news and TV programing have gotten outrageously explosive, riveting us to the screens. So what's the solution? How does one go about unplugging from the programing of a lifetime and begin to create an authentic internal life?

I have a few beginning steps that have worked well for me and although they are not original, they are also not popular. However, those who have tried these ideas always have such great results, I must go ahead and list them here for your consideration:

1) Turn off the news. It's been 11 years since I've watched a news program or read a newspaper on purpose and I continue to be one of the happiest people I know. I trust that if something important happens, someone will come along and tell me or I will notice a headline or overhear a conversation. My news comes in manageable ways, I'm never inundated and yet I always find out what I need to know. In my experience, this is the first reliable step toward creating a happier life.

2) Write daily. This is the number one best way to begin accessing the contents of one's own mind. It takes dedication and a sincere desire to find out what's going on inside and a willingness to listen and go ahead and write it down. I started in 1994 by using the writing method called Morning Pages, described in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron'. The Artist's Way is a wonderful creativity recovery method that molds itself to each person's unique personality, experience and style. While not easy, daily writing is by far the most effective tool I've ever seen to promote positive changes.

3) Read books. By following my nose I've stumbled upon some great books and learned about amazing things that I didn't even know I was interested in. Used bookstores are wonderful for browsing and so is the library. I avoid magazines with all the stimulating ads and color meant to tempt or influence me. By reading books, I've become the director of what goes into my mind and that is a powerful feeling.

So there you have it, the three best ways I know of to begin creating the habit of happiness. Welcome to my world! In future posts, I'll be elaborating on each of these methods and several others, my happy bag of tricks is fun to share!

Habitual Happiness, Part 1

Happiness is a practice and it can develop into a habit. Habitual happiness!

After watching Patch Adams (again), it's clear that excessive habitual happiness can be edgy and can make others a tad uncomfortable.

There's an unspoken social code hanging in the air and it's a moving target. As children we learn early on how to navigate the code by watching and reading the adults around us. Our parents are the primary code managers, they are the first to show us how to act in private and in public, what is acceptable and what is not, who to defer to, who to follow, who is important to please, who can be disregarded, and most of this social code training is done subtly and most often without awareness, using body language and facial expressions.

Children are born joyful! They have a marvelous capacity to burst forth with enthusiasm, laughter, friendliness, silliness, and constant movement. Watch a child waiting in line at the grocery store --- they are all over the place! While the parent guards the cart, the child or children explore the millions of details surrounding them. They are open to details.

As adults, we've learned to tune out the details. Of the thousands of sensory opportunities available in each moment, we notice or process just a few. Children can run circles around us processing details and they do.

And that's were social code training comes in. The core messages in social code training are: Fit in --- Don't make waves --- Don't stand out --- Don't make anyone uncomfortable. With this training we learn to stand still, sit down, and be quiet, all at the expense of joy. We learn to hand our power over to social conditions and then we quickly learn to let external conditions become our gauge for how we feel inside. The natural outcome of social code training for many of us is repression of emotions and habitually looking to external events and situations to define our internal states.

Television, computers and video games have grown in popularity for this reason. They give us constant external feedback which hooks us emotionally, thus reinforcing the habit of handing our emotional power over to a source outside ourselves. The challenge becomes creating enough external stimulation to compensate for all those repressed authentic emotions and thoughts. Let there be a lull and boredom sets in quickly. Oh, can't have that! What shall we do? Who will talk to us? Who will entertain us? Who will make us laugh-think-feel? What activity will provide enough stimulation and forced focus to keep us fully engaged with external stimuli because it's a sure bet that, at this point, we are practically incapable of actually hearing our own thoughts or feeling what's going on in our own bodies!

The world is running faster and faster, the pace has to keep up with our constant need to be stimulated. Movies, news and TV programing have gotten outrageously explosive, riveting us to the screens. So what's the solution? How does one go about unplugging from the programing of a lifetime and begin to create an authentic internal life?

In Part 2, we'll explore some ideas about how to go about reprogramming ourselves. Please, you're invited to add your comments here so that they can be included in the discussion!

Listen to Laughs!

Since the research has shown that listening to the sounds of laughter causes the body to respond as if you laughed, it's a good idea to surround yourself with laughter as much as possible on a daily basis to counteract stress and depression.

The physical benefits of laughter include opening of the blood vessels, reduced blood pressure, increased oxygenation of the brain and internal organs, all of this leading to greater relaxation and feelings of well-being.

Here's a Laugh-a-Long video to get you started. I created it this week using some favorite photos and the laughter sound track from the Practice Happiness! CD



Get your year off to a good start by increasing your laughter and listening to laughter as often as possible!

How My Dad Got Funny

It happened one day in November of 2003, just after I had returned home from the hospital after having my appendix removed. It was an unplanned surgery, as you can imagine, and my parents had driven the 125 miles from their house to mine to help me for a few days.

The appendix attack was perfectly timed to interfere with a major move to another city the following week. I hadn't even started packing but I had saved my boxes from the last move and Mom and Dad had to get them out and pack them. It took them four days and all I could do was encourage and direct. And laugh!

Somehow, starting with his grousing about my coffee maker the first morning, Dad became the funniest man on earth. I had to hang onto the counter and my tummy so I wouldn't hurt myself laughing! Almost everything he said and did for the next four days was hysterically funny. I was a laughter casualty, roaring, slapping my legs, dropping to the floor and asking, "How did it happen? When did you get so funny? And how did I manage to not notice this my whole life?!"

The transformation in my dour, practical, dry dad was amazing. Turns out he totally enjoyed being thought of as Funny Guy after a lifetime of Serious Guy. We all knew that my laughter attacks had everything to do with recovery from anesthesia and nothing to do with actual humor and yet we all had so much fun with it!

Funny Guy stayed with us for several years after that and we loved him and laughed at him and, in the end, he gave us all something to remember and talk about during that last painful year before he died.

This story goes to show that we all have a terrifically funny person inside us and sometimes all we need is for someone else to come along and release them. It's never too late to stop and laugh and it almost never requires anesthesia.

Happy New Year --- 2010!

New Year's resolutions are tricky! They're so fun to make and so easy to break and that's why I resolved to stop making them years ago. Now I'm wondering where the issue is and why it's so hard to fulfill New Year's resolutions.

A friend of mine has resolved to stop smoking, cold turkey, at midnight tonight. He hasn't done any planning, hasn't cut down, isn't going to use patches or gum or a support group. I'm standing by to see what happens. I'd love it if he succeeds but the odds are stacked against him. It takes more than a date on the calendar to undo 40 years of addiction!

My son has resolved to be more responsible with the small details of his life and stop avoiding them. He doesn't appear to have a plan for how to do that, just a vague idea that a pocket calendar will do the trick. There too, I'm standing by to see what happens.

As for me, even though I don't consider it a New Year's resolution, I intend to be more active with blog posts. It's so easy to think about writing but harder to actually sit down and do it. I figure I can ease my way into it by committing to one blog post a week, thus increasing my blogger productivity by 1000% without too much effort.

But what's my plan to make that one blog post per week a reality? I'll watch for things to blog about in my journal writing and in my life experiences. I'll remember that I don't have to write a book, just a blog post, a few paragraphs or maybe a little more will do the trick.

So here's my commitment: Every Friday I will get a new blog post up and then announce it to my list and my Facebook friends and fans.

And then I'll stand by to see what happens as I take action on this intention! An action plan should take the trickiness out of New Year's resolutions.

Please share your comments or ideas on this timely subject!

Instructions for Happiness in 2010

My dad died last January at the the age of 80 and I created this refrigerator magnet as an anniversary gift of sorts, honoring his transition.

All his life, my dad struggled with health issues and highly negative thought patterns. He contracted rheumatic fever in his early teens which weakened his heart. He worked hard as a laborer, specializing in concrete for buildings and highways, and by 1997, his poor heart had had enough and he had open heart surgery and 2 new artificial valves installed. In 2000, depression hit hard and he decided to throw in the towel on life.

Giving up living is easy but actually exiting is hard. He was very vocal about his desire to die and he complained incessantly for the next 8 years.

In April of 2008, Dad took a turn for the worse and went into the hospital. Mom asked me to come help because it looked like he was finally going to get his wish. I drove the 250 miles to their town and settled in for 7 of his 10 days in the hospital. I spent most of my time with him, stayed the night a few times to help the nurses --- turned out Dad was still plenty strong, too strong to let go AND he was a terrible patient, couldn't be made comfortable, complained all the time about everything. He drove the nurses crazy.

The morning after one of those long, bad nights, I snapped. I couldn't take it any more! I delivered a detailed lecture on quantum theory, Law of Attraction and the power of thoughts at 6am in a quiet hospital room in Eastern Oregon. Near the end of the lecture, I wrote these instructions on the dry erase board handily hanging on the wall at the end of his bed where he had to look at it day and night:

Feel Better --- Start NOW!

1) Stop Complaining
2) Count Your Blessings
3) Say Thank you

We went over the details of each step, how complaining had become a habit that he didn't notice anymore and how a lifetime of complaining had given him a life to complain about. We held up our fingers and started counting blessings and even in his condition there were many! He agreed to say thank you to every person who walked into his room because the only reason they were there was to help him in some way.

I left the instructions on the board for the rest of his stay. I can't say that he had an amazing turn-around in his health but his complaining dropped off considerably, he willingly participated in blessing-counting sessions and he said thank you so often to everyone, the hospital staff commented and were amazed. The nurses asked if they could write those steps on everyone's boards and we all laughed, knowing it wasn't possible.

He lived another 10 months after that and he practiced the steps even when it was hard. He said thank you more in that 10 months then he had in the 80 years before and I was very proud of him. His last words to me were "I love you, dear." What a treasure!

I've thought of that morning lecture many times since then and I'm often tempted to be sorry for it. After all, he was a sick old man in a hospital bed and he couldn't get away from me. However, that event changed both of our lives and I'm forever grateful for whatever power inspired the words and the energy that poured out of me that morning.

I've shared this story verbally many times and those who have taken up the practice have experienced benefits. It's pretty easy to count blessings and say thank you but stopping the complaining is really hard! It's become a part of our culture to complain, judge and criticize everything around us. The trick seems to be training ourselves to notice when we're doing it, to actually hear what we're saying and/or thinking.

Thank you for reading this story and sharing in the magic gift that came from my dad's last struggles. This story is my gift to him. And this magnet is our gift to you.

by Randy Sandknop

To get your magnet (up to 5), send me a private message ( http://www.facebook.com/randysandknop ) with your address and I'll mail it out. The stamp is on me! See the details in the Event section of the Practice Happiness! fan page, My Gift To YOU!

Get Inspired!

Benjamin Zander is my new favorite teacher! Give yourself the gift of 30 minutes to watch this fabulous video!

@ Yahoo! Video

Video: Why Are We Happy?

Amazing TedTalks video, a MUST SEE!

Playing time: 21 minutes

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

Thought Training ... using mantras in a busy life

I opened my journal and sat there for a minute listening for the first thing to write and a little song popped into my head:

"Blue skies, shinning on me, nothing but blue skies can I see..."

How fun!

In 1994 I started journaling and every day I faithfully followed my thoughts down a negative path and wrote it all down. Since writing is magical, I never failed to find insights, inspiration and hope, but the changes I was looking for took many years --- it was a slow, grueling process.

In March of 2005 I began using mantras. My first mantra was "Think good thoughts" and I used it whenever I heard my thoughts go grumbling down a negative track. It's so easy to jump on a negative train of thought and ride it to the end of the line, except there is no end. Day after day, year after year, I stayed on that train, rumbling through the bleak landscape of negativity. I didn't know that intentionally changing my thoughts was my ticket to a new train with better scenery and a happier destination.

And it was so simple! Training myself to hear my thoughts was the tricky part. Negative thoughts made me feel so bad and that became my cue to listen in and pay attention. Then my power of choice kicked in and I could decide to stay on that train or jump off.

Mantras were the key --- my ticket --- to a different train.

I would start by repeating my mantra (my new decision, Think Good Thoughts) over and over, 20 to 30 times, and then I would look around and ask out loud, "OK, where is one?" (a good thought) and one always popped in. Often the new thought came disguised as a yellow flower in the sunlight or big, puffy clouds in a bright blue sky or the smell of fresh rain on dirt. Sometimes it came as freckles across the nose of a smiling child. Or it came as the sound of people laughing together.

Mostly, at the the beginning, it amazed me how quickly I could change my thoughts and how many wonderful things surrounded me that I hadn't noticed before. I didn't have to change locations to feel better. I didn't have to drink something, eat something, take a pill or talk to someone. It was all right there, readily available with a quick change of focus. Magic, I tell you! The past four years I feel like I've been riding a rocket to a whole new planet. It took no time at all to consciously retrain my thoughts and they've lead to joyful places and wonder-filled landscapes.

The best part is, I can arrange my mantras to fit different situations. Sometimes they're short and sweet, other times a little longer and more specific. If I find myself worrying about someone, I say things like:

• "I love and trust in Sally's ability to manage her own life."
• "I love and trust that Toby is having valuable experiences."
• "I love and trust in Barbara's ability to be resourceful."

If I'm worrying about something in my own life, I say things like:

• "I trust that I always have plenty of money."
• "I deserve to have what I really want."
• "Good things come to me easily."

I know these sound like simple affirmations, but when repeated over and over, they become mantras and have the power to take your thoughts to a much better-feeling place.

The magic mantra for this year has been, "All experience has value"and it covers everything. I no longer have to judge and criticize people or situations, no worry about anything or anyone is required.This mantra releases me to focus on the benefits of every experience and the value of everyone.

The beauty of mantras is that you don't have to do a lot of homework, you don't have to write out your past or list all the people who keep you stuck. Mantras are a right here, right now tool. They can be done anywhere, any time. All you need is a willingness to notice what train you're on and a desire to jump off! Mantras will provide you with a soft transition.

What a blessing!

Randy Sandknop

Time and Deadlines

Years ago, I had a cleaning and painting business.
I worked for property managers and I had a small window of opportunity to get into each unit I was hired for and get it ready for the new tenant. It paid well for the hours allotted, but I found I wasn't fast. I cared too much what the end result looked like. I simply could not make myself do a crummy job and that's all I was given time for. I never missed a deadline but I was constantly stressed by the crunch feeling. I grew to hate it.

I started resenting and grumbling while I worked, then it grew to a running resistance going on in my thoughts all the time, even when I wasn't working. Even today, that thought pattern can come up if I'm doing similar work, like when I painted my new house last year. I caught it very early and had a blast painting, even with a tight timeframe. Thoughts are everything, as you know.

Nowadays I know more about myself (because of that experience and others like it) and I work plenty of time into my projects. I let people know that a great job takes more time then a crummy job and it costs more. I only work with people who are interested in quality. Plus, I deserve the time it takes to do my best work!

We perfectionists create interesting times for ourselves when we try to fit our style into someone else's time frame. Remember that all experience has value, and with practice, we can do a great job faster. But only if we keep a positive thought process going as we do the work.

Randy Sandknop©2008

Having a Bad Day?

Have you ever heard someone say that they're having a bad day?

Maybe you've said it, I know I have. It's a very common statement. But it's more than that, it's an announcement --- a creation.

Let's look at it technically. There are 24 hours in a day. Assume that 8 hours are spent sleeping and that leaves us with 16 hours of conscious time, our "day". That's 960 minutes, or 57,600 seconds. Wow! If we were to proclaim each second as a moment, that means that each day of our lives holds 57,600 moments available for conscious creation.

When we announce a Bad Day, we forfeit 57,600 opportunities to create something different for ourselves. Since bad days seem to attract more bad days, over the period of a week, that becomes 403,200 missed opportunities. Over a month? 12,096,000 missed moments of creation. Over a year goes into the billions and over a lifetime? Unimaginable.

Now let's go to thoughts. Since we're always thinking, that's non-stop 24/7/365. Thoughts are fast but to keep it simple, let's average them out to one thought per second, so that would equal out to 57,600 thoughts per day to work with. (I suspect 3 to 5 times more, but like I said, let's keep it simple.)

Now, if we define a thought as an information-filled electromagnetic impulse, what kind of information are we getting with each thought? This is where consciousness comes into play: awareness combined with will combined with the capacity to choose combined with memory combined with beliefs combined with emotions --- and on it goes times infinity! Each of us are living, breathing super computers processing infinite potential in each moment.

So here's the question: why would we consciously create bad days with any of our moments of infinite potential? Practicing happiness helps us claim our power in each moment to create what we choose and skip quickly past bad moments to good days!

Randy Sandknop©2007

Allowing Happiness - Start Today!

I have a dear friend who falls into a pool of despair when she imagines that everyone else is doing great and she's a failure --- comparing herself and her success to others and falling way short.

I reminded her that everyone has negative qualities and bad days, nobody's perfect. But why dwell on it? I have things about myself that I don't like but she doesn't hear me talk about those things, she may not even know what they are because I'm way too busy being wonderful and feeling good, so that's what I have to share with her.

How did I get so wonderful? Practice! I started by practicing listening, simply hearing my thoughts as they came. Then I quickly had to add the practice of allowing (non-judging) because when I began really listening I found so many critical, complaining, negative thoughts running through my head, I was a tad stunned. Then I practiced talking back to the thoughts, but in a friendly way --- I would say things like, "I heard that, you can't sneak that thought by me!" And then I'd laugh. I made my thoughts into friends with good-hearted laughter.

These first practices took some time and I wasn't happy with many things I heard going on in my thoughts. It's no wonder I spent years feeling depressed and anxious!

When I added the practice of using mantras to change my thoughts, things speeded up and I quickly realized what a great tool that was. I got results and felt much better after the very first effort and I loved it because it was so fast and easy to use; plus I could do it anywhere in 30 seconds or less.

So these practices were the beginnings of my new thought patterns:

• Listening to my thoughts

• Allowing all thoughts without resistance or judgment

• Talking to certain thoughts and treating them like friends

• Using mantras to alter thought streams

The benefits of these practices were many:

1. My feelings about myself softened and I began liking myself and enjoying my own humor.
2. I began discovering my personal belief systems and exploring how those beliefs have played a big role in creating my life up to that point.
3. I began accepting and enjoying my changing emotional states, tapping into the incredible power generated by my emotions.
4. I opened up to new ideas and new people, I learned new healing techniques, I read books about quantum theory and the functions of the brain and the workings of the cells --- who knew I was interested in any of that, much less that I had an aptitude and capacity to take in and use that information?
5. Self-empowerment! I started trusting that I could handle any situation and be successful with any endeavor. My confidence levels grew daily.

And this is just the beginning, more benefits reveal themselves all the time. And it began with a willingness to really listen to my thoughts. Powerful stuff! What's going on in your head? Are you listening?

Randy Sandknop©2007

The Sudden Outburst Method of Personal Transformation

On a sunny morning in May of 1992, my life suddenly changed.

And when I say suddenly, I mean in an instant, with no warning. One minute I was sitting in my favorite chair drinking coffee all by myself, thinking my usual thoughts, and the next minute I exploded. I began jumping around the room, yelling, giving myself the biggest butt-kicking of my life. The episode only lasted for about 10 minutes but it altered the course of my life. If anyone had seen me, they would have thought I was nuts!

What caused the eruption? Thoughts. Just like molten lava deep inside a serene mountain, toxic negative thoughts had been boiling around in my mind for years. Those thoughts took a turn for the worse when, a few months earlier, I started thinking about leaving my family and fleeing my life.

You see, every morning I would get my son, aged 9, off to school and then sit in that chair and imagine going into my bedroom, packing up all my clothes, loading up my mini van and driving off down the street. In my mind I would sometimes leave a note or call someone to pick my son up from school. Sometimes I would imagine where I would go first, like to the bank. The only way I ever got myself out of the chair was to decide not to do it today, maybe tomorrow. And then the whole round would begin again the next day. I was stuck in a depression dew loop with no way out.

On that fateful morning in May, I suddenly realized that I wasn't going to do it. And I was furious! The yelling went something like this:

"You IDIOT! You're not going ANYWHERE because if you WERE, you would have GONE already! I've HAD it with you! STOP this foolishness, GET OVER IT!"

And on like that .... while waving my arms, shaking my fists and I think there was some stomping involved. Pretty sure there was. The best part came next. I ran into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked deranged, crazed, wild-eyed. I was horrified, to say the least. But I looked that crazy woman right in the eye, shook my finger in her face and told her to shape up. Told her I had had it with her and her whining and moaning. Told her she was going to get happy RIGHT NOW or I was going to know the reason why not.

The idea that I could actually be happy sent a jolt of panic through me, I could see it in my eyes. So I arranged a smile on my face and even though it gave me an even spookier look when combined with those wild eyes, I said out loud, "I'm a happy girl." I didn't die so I said it again. And then again. I repeated it over and over until it became a little song. "I'm a happy girl. A happy, happy girl. I'm a happy, happy, happy, happy girl!" Catchy tune, you should have heard it. Satisfied with my efforts, I jumped into the shower singing my little song and went on to the rest of my day.

In the days and weeks that followed, I would sing my happy girl song in my van or in the shower but only when I was alone. I didn't tell anyone about my episode because I really had no idea what I had done.

About three weeks later, I noticed that I felt pretty good. It was a shock of sorts, after feeling so bad for so long. It stopped me in my tracks while I did a mental body scan and decided that, yes, I felt pretty darn good! I wondered if my happy girl song was really working. Could it be true? Could a silly thing like that really help?

Emphatically, YES!